I loved her.
She was a handful of trouble.
She was a gift of love.
Many people looked right through her,
like she was invisible.
But I saw her,
and she was beautiful.
She made me laugh,
and some days
I just wanted to hug her.
She wore me out,
and some days
I wanted to push her away.
But I always kept my door open for her.
I stayed on the lookout for her,
until I couldn't anymore.
I needed time to get my life in order.
When we were together,
it was chaos.
I didn't know,
how could I,
that she would choose Christmas Eve
to give up.
To hang herself from a closet rod.
I sat alone and
cried out to God.
The pain was intense,
for both of us.
She was a mother and a daughter.
She was a sister.
Suicide seemed tempting,
I longed for it.
My God was silent,
I longed for Him.
